While she doesn't appear to have a specific boy in mind right now (though I may be wrong about that), she's asking questions about what her dating rules will be. I am trying to teach her to stick up for herself, to not deny her inner feelings about someone, to use good judgement, and to be tactful also. Kids can get together in a group in homes where parents cruise through at times (From experience, I know some parents at home may mean zero supervision.) Our daughter is 16 and figured out early that a lot of so-called dating is really an excuse for sexual experimentation.
Being clueless myself, I'm looking for suggestions--how have you handled early dating experiences? Some kids pretend they are drunk, and hence not responsible for their sexual behavior.
Make sure she has condoms if she will be alone with him. Single mom of teenager Well, I don't have that much experience with this as my daughter is 15 also. This totally embarasses her and she doesn't want to talk about it, but I think she's listening.
The new shot that prevents cervical cancer would be a good idea too. She's in a kinda bookish group at school, and few of her friends have ''gone out'' with guys yet. Did you or another adult chauffeur, or was it at one of the kids' homes? I give my daughter possible things to say to boys in different situations because sometimes we just can't think of the right words at the right time! anon Group dating seems to be the best idea I heard until ...maybe 18?
She needs to prove to you and herself that what you think, is of no concern to her - but it is a ruse - it matters more than she can accept or let on.
If you are not condemning (and sounds like you are not) but instead acknowledge the fact that this is ultimately a choice she must make about her own body, she will be more able to hear the things that you want to say about the situation.
(Drugs also come into so- called dating.) If our kids hang with a crowd that don't date, it's easier.
We're all in this together Dec 2001 I would like to hear from parents about what kind of parameters they set for dating for 16 year old girls --particularly sexually active ones who ( in addition to being great kids) can be defiant, unreliable, do not tell the truth and have various emotional problems for which they are in treatment/ on medication.
But you seem equally convinced that this is not achievable.I find myself in the unsettling position of wanting to say very conventional things like ''An 18 year old boy only has one thing in mind.'' And then I feel bad. Older guys pick on younger, more vulnerable girls because it's harder for them to say no. They mostly spent time together at school, at lunch, or met before school for coffee. I told her that I wanted to meet him before they went ''out'' anywhere. Just make sure she knows that she can call you anytime and you will pick her up. That way she might talk to you about any things she doesn't know how to handle.Talk to your daughter about different things that can happen when she is with him and let her know she can make a choice about what she wants to do. I also tell her if he wants to ''go farther'' than she does, she absolutely has the right to say ''no''.When my daughter asked me when I thought a girl was ready to have sex, I replied ''when she's ready to handle a baby.'' We all know that every form of birth control has a failure rate, so I don't think it's too far out to talk about pregnancy.A lot of oral sex goes on in dating, with definite health risks, loss of reputation, etc. (There's a chance that he's a friend of a friend of a friend!