I’m not aggressive enough, I don’t like engaging in anonymous sex and to be frank, I am too neurotic to clamber up nine flights of stairs to the dingy flat of a man I have never even met before to partake in intimate relations. What really put me off the whole thing was a message I received within 24 hours of re-activating my account.
I always figured that there would be other guys like me on Grindr. It is unprintable in its original guise, but the subtext was that this ‘gentleman’ was going to come and find me and then forcibly penetrate me whether I liked it or not.
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Grindr has acquired a somewhat iconic status in the gay community and understandably so.
When I was younger, more inhibited and less trusting of others, I used to hang around on Gaydar for hours, chatting with men I wasn’t even brave enough to meet.
I duly reported him and made the decision that I just didn’t need Grindr in my life. What this all too common sort of unwanted communication illustrates is that whilst gay dating sites provide a useful platform for meeting men you may never otherwise have had access to, they also further diminish the importance of intimacy in favour of instant sexual gratification.
That’s not to say that anonymous sex is inherently wrong, it’s merely an observation I have made, and one which has greater implications for our gay youth than any other demographic.
Initially the date had gone well, but it ended badly and he was raped.
As a user of gay dating sites, this made me think about the danger inherent in meeting men who I know nothing about, other than what they choose to tell me, which may or may not be true.
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