If you are living with a narcissist, have a relationship with one, if you are married to one, if you are working with a narcissist, etc.it does NOT mean that you are an inverted narcissist.But, codependents take this to a whole different level.Like dependents (people with Dependent Personality Disorder), codependents depend on other people for their emotional gratification and the performance of both inconsequential and crucial daily and psychological (ego) functions.They seek to fuse or merge with their significant others.By becoming one with their intimate partners, codependents are able to actually love themselves by loving others. They suffer from abandonment anxiety and, to avoid being overwhelmed by it they cling to others and act immaturely.It is a danse macabre in which both members of the dyad collaborate.The codependent sometimes claims to pity her abuser and cast herself in the grandiose roles of his saviour and redeemer.
Only then, and if you satisfy the other diagnostic criteria of a Dependent Personality Disorder, can you be safely labelled an 'inverted narcissist'." oscillate between periods of clinging and other codependent behavior patterns (which they interpret as intimacy) and eras of aloofness, detachment, and emotional neglect and abandonment (which they regard as legitimate and the only possible manifestations of their personal autonomy and space.) They also tend to form with their intimate partner a shared psychosis.
They "sacrifice" themselves in order to glory in the accomplishments of their chosen targets.
They subsist on reflected light, on second-hand applause, and on derivative achievements.
To "qualify" as an inverted narcissist, you must CRAVE to be in a relationship with a narcissist, regardless of any abuse inflicted on you by him/her.
You must ACTIVELY seek relationships with narcissists and ONLY with narcissists, no matter what your (bitter and traumatic) past experience has been.
Her overwhelming empathy imprisons the codependent in these dysfunctional relationships and she feels guilt either because she believes that she had driven the abuser to maltreat her or because she contemplates abandoning him.